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5 Things Successful People do When ‘It all goes Wrong’ (Just doing #4 will Help)

ID-10075457I am a big fan of the phrase “sometimes life just happens”. What I mean by this, sometimes life will throw an unexpected challenge your way. However, sometimes life will just, flat out open a trap door from under you. You know, those times when you don’t know where to turn and you don’t know what to do.

You start to panic and you start to either ‘freeze’ or start to act like a crazy person.

There are some who people who respond to ‘life’s trap door’ with a huge measure of relaxed control.

How the heck do they do it?!

Below are 5 Things that they do to positively overcome an onslaught of adversity.

They See the Situation as it is…NOT worse than it is!

When a negative situation shows itself in our life, our mind absolutely loves exaggerating the extent of it. In a instant our mind can turn forgetting to pay a bill into becoming totally bankrupt. A happy, relaxed, successful person will tell you to focus on the reality of the situation and don’t add bits on.

They Focus on the Fact that Every Problem has a Solution

Once you have this realization you are cultivating the ability to deal with whatever comes your way. We live in a universe where things exist in opposites. Hot/Cold, Up/Down, Big/Small etc. Shifting your focus to the opposite of your problem (the solution) you are directing your mind to a more positive outcome.

They find things to be Grateful for

When things are ‘falling apart’ it is the can be a real challenge to focus on being grateful. You may not feel like feeling grateful for a long time in fact. However, happy, successful people know that finding things to be grateful for during the toughest times can shift your focus and bring you into a ‘Solution Focused’ mindset much quicker. By truly getting in touch with some of the things that you are grateful for you are taking control over the ‘crisis’ and turning it into a workable situation. You are taking back control because you are now the driving force of your mind.

They Stop ‘Negative Thought Cycles’

Negative thought cycles are those negative thoughts that just keep coming back into your head. You keep thinking “What the heck am I going to do?”, “Why always me?”, “I knew this would happen”. These thought patterns are stopping you from finding a creative solution and you’re making yourself feel even worse. A great strategy employed by the happy, successful elite is the ability to ask solution focused questions:

What is the best way for me to find a solution?

If there was a positive reason for this happening to me what would it be?

What am I willing to do to make things the way I want them to be?

By asking questions like these you are once again, powerfully shifting your focus to solutions.

They accept the Situation

By truly practising the art of acceptance you are detaching yourself from the dramatic, over exaggerations of the situation and you are left with the simple truth. When you stop yourself from reacting on impulse the challenges you are facing become much more simple. Without proper control our natural instinct tends to be to react. These reactions can often make the situation worse. The solution focused course of action is to ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’.

Above all, when you are faced with these very difficult situations the fact of the matter is whatever has happened has happened and when it comes to managing the situation. The choice is yours.

I’d love to hear about how you stay relaxed when it seems like ‘everything’ is going wrong?

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How to be More Organized: The 7 Habits of Highly Organized People

1-more-organizedBeing organized comes from developing a collection of habits that allows to become and remain that type of person. Here are the 7 habits of highly organized people so you can finally figure out how to be more organized in your life.

1. What Gets Scheduled, Gets Done

Highly organized people recognize that being organized and staying productive is a match made in heaven. They schedule everything that they have to do that day, week and month. They set deadlines that they actually stick to so that they can achieve their goals. If you are living an un-organized, messy lifestyle, you will find it extremely difficult to meet your deadlines and you may not even have time to set any in the first place.  Do this now: write down everything that you want to achieve this year and then schedule the things that you need to do this week to get the ball rolling. Then stick to it!

2. Do it Now Technology

My good friend Rhydian over at Thought Support coined this phrase and it lends itself to what is the opposite of procrastination and that it is ‘Doing it NOW!’. The more that time that passes before you do something, the more of a challenge it will be to get it completed. I’m guessing that you want your life to be as low in stress as possible; one way to do this is to make sure you put in the effort to get tasks completed as soon as possible. What you’ll notice is, you’ll start to feel more on top of things and generally more organized.

3. Write Everything Down

My girlfriend is always asking me “How do you remember everything, all the time?” The truth is I don’t use any weird memory tricks, I just write everything down. Once you have completed the task of putting pen to paper, not only do you have a physical reminder that you can place somewhere you will see it, you have also imprinted the item onto your subconscious mind making recall more likely. Getting things like birthdays, shopping lists, Christmas presents and important meeting dates out of your head and on to paper will make you more organized and make your life a lot easier.

4. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

Those people with really organized lives have days that only focus on a few core responsibilities. Once you have your list of things that you need to do that day or week, place a star next to the once that other people can do for you. For example, today I paid people to back up my website, do some printing for me and deliver my shopping. This allowed me to spend time focused on the activities that contribute the most to my goals.

5. Everything Has its Place

Highly organized people know exactly where everything goes. It is easy to become one of these people. Create storage spaces that make it easy for you to reach for the things that you use on a daily basis and don’t allow these spaces to become cluttered. Imagine you could add up all of the time you have spent looking for your keys, your wallet or a pen? Once everything has its place you will notice that you are getting things done easier because you have freed up the time that you used to spend looking for things.

6. The 365 Day Rule

If you haven’t used it for the last year, get rid of it. People who are highly organized only hold on to what they need and what they really really want. Having less things allows you to enjoy the things that you do have and you’ll feel a sense of clarity from actually using everything that you own. There is nothing worse than cluttering your mind with the thought that you haven’t got enough space for everything that you own. Remove that thought by removing the clutter.

7. Work Hard When you need to

If you need to push the limit of how hard you have to work to stay on track and get things done. So be it!. The business of being in the highly organized elite is not easy but it’s simple. Realize that working hard right now will allow you to be clutter free in the physical, mental and emotional worlds later on.

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How to Overcome Obstacles

ID-100123059I had been working tirelessly on a project that could have been life and business changing when I got some information that was going to hurt the project in a big way. The Obstacle had presented itself and I started to feel anxious and on edge pretty much immediately. I could have rolled over there and then and just felt defeated and depressed. However, I decided to do whatever it took to find a meaning for the situation that meant that it was actually good news.

Nothing has any meaning beyond the meaning that you give it.

I wanted to make a video as soon as this happened because unexpected obstacles is one of the main things that I get asked about. I wanted to share with you how I face the obstacle straight away and how I overcome it as quickly as possible. No matter how positive you are ‘Life is going to Happen’ and sometimes it’s going to smack you in the face. However, the main thing that we have to do is DECIDE to believe in a positive outcome and change the way that you are viewing the situation straight away. This will allow you to get back to it and making progress as quickly as you possibly can.

The Video is Below:


As I said, you ARE going to encounter adversity in your life and if you follow my process of how to overcome obstacles, your life will never be the same again. It is up to us and only us to find the empowering possibilities that the obstacle could be giving us. You can begin to do this immediately by asking the empowering questions that I also use in my morning ritual like “What’s the best thing about this?” or “What is the fastest most fun way for me to turn this around?”. I always say that your mind is like Google; ask it a question and it has to give you answer. Ask a better question and you’ll get a better answer.

What if Life wasn’t happening TO you and it was happening FOR you?

The above is a belief that I have internalised. No matter what happens, I always believe: “Everything that is happening in my Life is happening to ultimately make my life even better”. I have trained myself to find the positive in any situation, I just have to find it.

Nothing in Life will last FOREVER, no matter how much it feels that way sometimes. I have also taken on the belief “This obstacle hasn’t come to stay, it has come to pass”. Of course, it always does. Realise that you can jump up, take positive action and keep going until you win.

Just picking up a tiny tip from this Blog Post will serve you. I know that there may be obstacles in your life at the moment and you have to train yourself to believe that things will work out your favour and turn out how you want them to as long as you keep moving forward.

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5 Ways you are Sabotaging your Own Happiness

ID-10051360Happiness doesn’t just come to people by chance, it may seem that some people have ‘the gift’ but they are proactively moving through life in such a way that is making them happy. What you will find is there are also things that they are NOT doing that is greatly enhancing their chances of happiness.

Below are 5 Things that could be ruining your chances of being Happy.

1. Focusing on What you Want and Missing Out on What you Already Have

If getting everything that we ‘wanted’ made us happy then all millionaires and billionaires would be happy, right?

You are putting yourself in a position where you are training your brain to place happiness as something in the future. You are always saying to yourself: “I’ll be happy when…”If you think like this, your happiness will always be in the future!

To be happy you need to start with what you already have. What can appreciate right now? Your health? Your friends? Your ability to see? Whatever it is for you, bring it to the front of your mind and realise how happy you are about it.

2. Constantly Criticizing Yourself

We are all excellent at being our own worst critic. Are you allowing yourself to self-criticize to the point where it is becoming ridiculous? You know the thought process: “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now. I won’t be able to pay the mortgage. Now everyone is going to hate me.” This may be a slight exaggeration but you get my point. How is it possible to be happy if we have thoughts like this bouncing around our heads all the time? The fastest way to fix this faulty thinking is to transform the inner criticism into inner ‘coaching’ as soon as it happens. For example, if you hear yourself say something like “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now”, quickly transform it into some self-coaching like, “What have I learned from that call that will enable me to do better next time and become good enough to get a promotion?” This may take a little practice, of course, but when you find yourself doing it automatically, you will be happy a lot for often.

3. Placing too Much Value on What Others Think

Are you deciding what shoes to buy based on what other people are going to think? Do you ever keep quiet when you have a new idea so you don’t upset the status quo? For true happiness to be present in your life you have to be your authentic self all of the time. If that means you love bright green shoes, by all means grow your collection of bright green shoes! It’s who you are.

When you get to a point where you have stopped other people dictating who you are and what you do, you will reach a level of happiness that you never even imagined was possible.

4. Spending Time with ‘Energy Drainers’

It may sound like a cliché but you really are becoming who you are spending most of your time with. The way we think and act will eventually harmonize with those that are closest to us. This is wonderful if you are surrounded by happy, positive, ambitious people all day long but if you aren’t, you are robbing yourself of your true happiness.

5. Focusing on your Goals so much that you Forget the Present Moment

I love setting goals and I believe that they are integral part of success and happiness. However, if you are too busy focusing on the final destination; the chances are you are missing out on the splendour of the journey. All of the little triumphs and successes are easily missed if we don’t celebrate them. It is essential that you regularly remind yourself to enjoy the present moment. An amazing way of doing this is to STOP and realize how grateful you are to be making progress today and how much fun you are having right now and why.

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10 Reasons Why You Need a Life Coach

life-coachIf that negative little voice woke up when you read the headline of this article and said “I don’t need a life coach”. Take a breather, you may need to read this more than anyone else.

Whether it is the best selling self-help books of all time, the best athletes or the world’s most successful businessmen; all of their best advice would have one thing in common: The most rapid route to success/achievement in anything is to locate a coach, role model or mentor that has either achieved what you are trying to achieve or has helped others to achieve it. This is something that you have heard before, right? All of the successful people that I have studied offer this advice, from Tiger Woods to Tony Robbins.

Although this is true and everyone accepts this notion, most people don’t have a life coach in their lives. We are all addicted to the “I can do it myself” mentality and we are not prepared to invest our money into the most important thing in our lives (ourselves!). I used to be one of these people and it was holding me back from success. I now have several coaches and mentors to coach me in different areas of my life and if I could turn back the clock, I would have had a life coach as soon as I turned 18 (if not younger). I would have saved so much time, money and effort. That being said, I will be forever grateful for the coaches and mentors that I have in my life right now and I am delighted to have learned from my mistakes.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently and I decided to make a Video about “The10 Reasons Why you Need a Life Coach”. Having a coach has allowed me to improve my life much faster and has allowed me to become a much better life coach myself. Whatever I have invested in coaching I have always made it back at least 3 times over in time and money. Without my coach I wouldn’t have started my own business, I wouldn’t have got down to 7% body fat, I wouldn’t have cured my asthma, I wouldn’t be making money on the internet whilst I was asleep; I wouldn’t have achieved so many things.  

Please Watch My Video Blog on The 10 Reasons Why you Need a Life Coach:


In the above Video I discuss how having coaches has impacted my life and how much my life has changed as a result. 

10 Reasons Why You Need a Life Coach

Below are the 10 Reasons Why you Need a Life Coach in more detail:

1. Having a Life Coach Saves you Time and Brings you in a State of ‘Rapid Achievement’

We are all running out of time. You can always get more money, more food, more cars, more businesses but you’ll never be able to get more time. Although this is true and people, once again, accept this idea on an intellectual level, they still try to do things the hard way; by themselves and end up wasting precious time. This happens when we try and do things on or own because we are on a path that is new to us and we don’t know the fastest route. 

Imagine you were stuck in the Sahara Desert and you had to find your way to civilisation. You could end up on an incredibly frustrating, stressful journey of trial and error that would ultimately end in your death.

Now imagine the same scenario but you are allowed to have the most experienced Sahara Desert Navigator in the world with you at all times. This person knows every inch of the great desert, knows how to survive and knows how to get to civilisation very quickly one hundred times out of a hundred. Would this save you time, stress and anguish? Would it ultimately save life your life? In fact, would this actually end up being an enjoyable experience that you would recommend to your family and friends? 

This is the best way I can describe having a coach. They give you the ‘map’ or the path to follow. Like the Desert Adventurer they have been there before, they know how to help you and they will get you to where you need to go a lot faster. They know every wrong turn to avoid and they know exactly what to do if you venture in the wrong direction.

2. Having a Life Coach Makes you Accountable

When I had my first life coach I really benefited from being held accountable for everything that I did. When you have a life coach you’ll find yourself procrastinating less, you’ll stop fear from holding you back and you’ll generally get things done faster. Every human has limiting beliefs and restrains that we place on ourselves. We all have thought and behaviour patterns that stop us from fulfilling our greatest potential. A life coach that is there to push you to heights that you have never been to before will allow you to have breakthroughs and “aha” moments. Once this happens, your life elevates itself quickly and easily.

Business-coach

The idea of a coach making you accountable addresses the fact that most of us already know what we have to do to move forward but we just don’t do it. Having a life coach that expects you to have made progress by your next call or session makes sure that you get on with things! The life coaching process will teach you to place no value on excuses and to only be interested in taking action. When you are doing things by yourself, you only answer to yourself. And as you probably already know, you are very good and finding excuses as to why you couldn’t do it. What I found in being accountable to a coach is that just the thought of giving excuses makes you feel embarrassed so you force yourself to step up. 

3. Having a Life Coach Allows you to Vent Your Frustrations in a ‘Safe’ Environment

You know those days where things just don’t seem to be going quite right? Things have annoyed you, people have gone back on their word? You have tried your absolute best and things just haven’t worked out, you know those days, right? It is great to have supportive family and friends in this situation but I can tell you there is nothing quite like having a Life Coach. With family and friends you ‘guess’ what there opinion is going to be before they give it, you let the tension build between you rather than venting it fully. With a Life Coach you can really get the most out of a day filled with bad moments. A quality coach will get you to use your ‘bad day’ to your advantage, so you can push forward rather that be held back. 

4. Having a Life Coach Saves you Money

I thought that running a coaching business and an online business simultaneously was going to be easy. After all, I had read a couple of books, I had the motivation, I had the skills, right? WRONG. I really had no idea and when you have no idea you are letting money just pass you buy. To compound this further, you will find yourself (just like I did) wasting money on things that you think will make you money but end up making you nothing. You start to operate at a loss. When I took on a coach to help me with my business, he told me what to DO and I did it. He ended up thinking of things that I never would have thought of, he believed that I could do it. All I had to do was execute.

Going into all of the ways that coaches have helped me would take a very long time indeed. It suffices to say that the investment that I have made in coaches has saved me thousands of pounds! If that little voice in your head has ever said “I can’t afford a Life Coach”, let me tell you the plain truth You can’t afford NOT to have one!

5. Having a Life Coach will Help you Find Your Purpose

I had no idea what my purpose was when I first entered into life coaching and mentoring programmes. Yes, I had started to turn my life around and I had improved my daily behaviour. I knew that I wanted to help people do the same but with help from my coach, I discovered my purpose. I now know that I am here to truly inspire others to believe in and live a life filled with health, wealth and happiness. 

What purpose could you have sitting inside of you? I don’t know you but I do know something about you…you have greatness within you. The world is waiting for your massive contribution. Unfortunately, without someone’s help you may never discover what that purpose actually is. 

6. Having a Life Coach Give You Ideas you may Have Never had

When I first started as Life Coach I was only offering ‘hour-by-hour’ coaching. This was giving me a decent living but I wanted to build something bigger. That was when my life coach suggested that I start offering ‘Transformational Programmes’ that involved similar processes that I had used to change my life. At first I tried to tell him that I wasn’t sure it would work and that was when he coached me through the fact that I was just fearful of offering more expensive programmes. 

These are now the programmes that I offer clients from all over the world and they can adapted for face to face coaching, email coaching, skype coaching and telephone coaching. My business is as much as 4 times as profitable as a result of this one idea and better still, I no longer have to pencil in multiple one hour slots that effect my business activity. 

7. Having a Life Coach Helps you Avoid Unnecessary Stress

HappinessNumber 1 touches on how you will be saved stress and potential pain by having a Life Coach but it is worth mentioning in more detail. Ultimately, life is made up moments and if the majority of these moments are positive moments we are in for a positive life right? The great thing about having a coach is they can help you to avoid potential stress in the future, either because they have lived it themselves or they have helped other people avoid it. The greatest unnecessary stress that a life coach allows you avoid is the stress of getting things wrong over and over and again. Why try 100 different diets when a coach can get you to a place where you’re looking and feeling amazing first time round? A life coach will allow you to take the right route at the right time meaning you’ll be on a journey with the stressful obstacles already removed by the coach.

8. Having a Life Coach Makes Your Feel Excited About Life Again

Do you remember, as a child when every day was like an adventure? What cardboard box were you going to turn into a spaceship? What spoonful of green stuff would whizz itself towards your mouth posing as an aeroplane? What furniture item would be your new climbing frame? Life can be like this again! These creative, adventurous tendencies that are ‘beaten out of us’ by life are not extinct. They just lay dormant. A coach will bring these attributes back to life. Having a coach will make every day feel like an adventure again. What new business will you start? How will you go out and meet the love of your life? What new sport will you try? Your coach will open up a list of exciting questions that are in your head and then encourage you to go out and answer them.

9. Having a Life Coach will Help you to Get to Know Yourself Better.

My coaches and mentors have allowed me to gain such amazing insights into myself and who I am. Every step that you take in the coaching journey, your coach will provide you with feedback and help you make new discoveries. I am a big fan of the phrase “You can’t see the picture when you are in the frame”. I can honestly say that with every single one of the clients that I have coached over the last 3 years I have always noticed subtleties in the way that they think and act that they weren’t even aware of. Often times it is a ‘story’ that I can tell they have’on repeat’ in their head or the way that the quality of their body language drops when they talk about a certain aspect of their lives. The only way that these negative, unconscious thought processes and behaviours can be undone is if we are deliberately ‘reprogrammed’ by someone else.

The beauty of having a coach make you aware of these challenges is that you can rapidly change them together. I’ve seen absolutely phenomenal transformations just by making a small change. This was particularly true of one client of mine who we’ll call Jane for the purposes of this Blog Post. Whenever, Jane would talk about a particular family member I would literally watch her shoulders drop and I could sense her making negative pictures on the screen of her mind. Just by tackling this issue head-on, Jane made all kinds of positive strides in every area of her life. She was no-longer a prisoner of unconscious thoughts and behaviours. Without a coach Jane never would have known.

10. Having a Life Coach will Make you More Confident

I’d be willing to bet you that there is a list of things that you want to do but you don’t feel confident enough or you don’t have the self-belief to do them. When my coach suggested that I run in the Cardiff Half Marathon I didn’t think that I could do it. I had taken on the belief that the doctors had given me that I couldn’t run long distance on a hard surface. That’s when my coach reminded me of an important fact: “someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality”. This ‘shot in the arm’ allowed me to get confident enough to start the training program and ultimately complete the run. I believed in his belief in me. Having a coach will make you step up, raise your standards and your confidence will grow as an inevitable by-product.

Happy-lifeIf Tiger Woods, Beyonce and Richard Branson have Coaches…

Every person at the top of any field has a coach. Whether we are talking entertainers, sports people or business people. If they need coaches, so do we! Answer me this, does Beyonce need a coach? Does Richard Branson need a coach? Of course they don’t, but by having coaches in their lives it gives them a ‘cutting edge’. They use the coaches to draw more out of themselves that they ever would have gotten on their own.

No successful person got to where they are on their own. They all had mentors, coaches, advisers and role models. It’s time to make the “I can make it on my own” philosophy, die. Stop telling yourself this story because it is preventing you from getting to where you want to go in life. The next thing that troublesome little voice in your will say is “I can’t afford it”. More nonsense! I have come to realise that when anyone (me included) says those words it is in fact nothing to do with money and everything to do with how committed you are. With full commitment, you make things happen. It’s an old analogy but answer it truthfully: if someone had a gun held to the head of the person that you love most in this world and said “if you don’t get me £5,000 in 4 weeks I pull the trigger”, we both know that you would find the money. It sounds far fetched but you can literally take that level of commitment and urgency into everything that you do.

So many times in recent years, I haven’t had the money for a coach or to attend an inspirational event or start another passive income stream. Rather than saying to myself “I can’t afford it” and leaving it there I now say “If I am committed to making this happen, I will find the money and I will find it quickly”.

The most recent example of this was when I had money tied up in my businesses and I didn’t have the cash-flow to capitalise on an opportunity to make more money online. Did I just let the opportunity sail by? Of course not! I ended up selling a lot of stuff that I didn’t use any more on eBay. I got together £700 which was more than enough to get my new venture off the ground.

If I’m totally honest with you, you genuinely can’t afford not to have a coach. It’s costing you a fortune financially, physically, mentally and emotionally already. It may seem like I have gone to a lot of trouble, writing 3,000+ words to make the point that we should all have coaches but let me tell you one thing: if you are still reading these words you are the type of person that will reach world-beating heights with the help of a life coach! If you just read this post and then go back to what you were doing before, nothing changes. However, if you accept my challenge, take action on what you have just read and find a coach straight away, (yes right now), it will be one of the greatest decisions that you have ever made.

Even though I am phasing out the ‘One on One Coaching aspect of my business, I’d still love to hear from you if you’re interested in taking me on as your coach. Transforming people’s lives is my passion and I’d love to help you. I currently have 3 Open slots for coaching as several people have just renewed recurring coaching contracts. You can email jermaine@jermaine-harris.com to contact me about coaching or message me on my Facebook or Leave a Comment below. 

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