how to enjoy life

How to Enjoy Life Whilst Pursuing Your Goals

how to enjoy life

A few years ago, I made a life-changing decision.

I had just met the girl of my dreams, I had turned my health around and I was more motivated than ever. I then decided to leave a highly paid graduate job to pursue my career as a coach as well as financial freedom.

Although I was terrified and didn’t really know where to start, every time I thought of the life I wanted with Katie and the life I wanted to create for the rest of my family, all of the fear disappeared. A part of me just ‘knew’ that this had to be done.

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7 Easy Ways to Enjoy the Present Moment

present-moment“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have” – Eckhart Tolle

A busy lifestyle is what everyone is used to in modern society. We have all done it; mindlessly skipped from one task to another without a break. It’s like being a hamster in a cage on one of those wheels, except you never get off! Is it any wonder that stress related illnesses are on the rise in Western society?

Developing the ability to enjoy the present moment several times a day can break up the mindless business and therefore reduce your stress levels. When you are feeling more relaxed every day as a result, you will be happier, healthier and more productive.

The wonderful thing about cultivating an appreciation for the present moment is it requires very little effort. You can start your day doing it, you can progress through your day doing it and you can end your day doing it.

When I first decided to improve my life, this concept was lost on me. I had no idea what I was missing. I was frantically writing business plans, health plans, developing ideas, attending meetings and generally being all over the place.

Even though I was getting deeply involved with many strategies taught within the self improvement industry, I found myself feeling strangely unfilled.

It was only through deep self-reflection that I realised that I wasn’t ‘Stopping to smell the Roses’. It became clear to me that I had to start enjoying the present moment a lot more often.

There are 7 Easy ways to start Enjoying the present moment:

1-Appreciate your Waking Moments                                                 

Instead of just shutting off your alarm and sluggishly rolling out of bed; just lie still and appreciate the new day. As you lie there focus on your breathing and feel grateful as the oxygen fills your body in this new day of your life. As you allow the feelings of gratitude to fill your spirit really appreciate the comfort that your bed has given you and then acknowledge how grateful you are to be able to get out of bed and begin a new day.

2-Feel Everything

Whenever your senses are being stimulated, make the effort to notice everything. If you are walking in the park notice the depth of the smells, the concert of sounds and the abundant sights. If you are trying some new food, be aware of every taste and texture. Even if you are just sat in your office notice how your body feels on the chair and acknowledge your fingers as they hit the keyboard (I’ve just done it and it really works).

3-Smile

Originally I thought that this idea was too simple and a little crazy. However, when I started to just stop at random points during the day, embrace the present moment and smile my days started to improve. Research suggests that smiling changes the hormones produced by your body, actually easing stress.

Smile randomly, smile at other people, smile at every living creature you encounter and enjoy the results.

4-Do what you’re doing

We have all attempted to multi-task and I’m sure you’d admit that it isn’t the most efficient way to get things done. Focusing on what you are doing and making that the only thing you are doing not only increases the likelihood of you enjoying it, it also increases the quality with which the task will be completed.

5 – Celebrate

When I set my first goals I realised that I wasn’t spending any time celebrating the ‘small wins’. My days were packed with things to do and I was just moving from one thing to another even though I was having some successes. I discovered that it is important to get present and celebrate when you have completed a task successfully. This can be anything from a 10 minute break to watch something funny or just to simply acknowledge yourself and give yourself a little “well done”.

6-Random Gratitude

When you are feeling grateful for something that you are currently experiencing you are enjoying the present moment. One sure fire way to accomplish this is to simply become aware of your heartbeat and feel grateful for it beating away in the centre of your chest.  You can extend this practice into being grateful for everything from your breathing to your ability to type. It is impossible to feel grateful and stressed at the same time.

7-Breathe

Turning your attention to your breathing stops thoughts from whizzing around your head at 100 miles an hour and takes you into the present moment. Breathe deeply and be aware of the air flowing in and out of your body, giving you the gift of oxygen as it does so.

Allowing yourself to embrace the present moment several times a day will be an amazing gift that you give yourself allowing a happier, healthier, less stressful life.

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5 Things Successful People do When ‘It all goes Wrong’ (Just doing #4 will Help)

ID-10075457I am a big fan of the phrase “sometimes life just happens”. What I mean by this, sometimes life will throw an unexpected challenge your way. However, sometimes life will just, flat out open a trap door from under you. You know, those times when you don’t know where to turn and you don’t know what to do.

You start to panic and you start to either ‘freeze’ or start to act like a crazy person.

There are some who people who respond to ‘life’s trap door’ with a huge measure of relaxed control.

How the heck do they do it?!

Below are 5 Things that they do to positively overcome an onslaught of adversity.

They See the Situation as it is…NOT worse than it is!

When a negative situation shows itself in our life, our mind absolutely loves exaggerating the extent of it. In a instant our mind can turn forgetting to pay a bill into becoming totally bankrupt. A happy, relaxed, successful person will tell you to focus on the reality of the situation and don’t add bits on.

They Focus on the Fact that Every Problem has a Solution

Once you have this realization you are cultivating the ability to deal with whatever comes your way. We live in a universe where things exist in opposites. Hot/Cold, Up/Down, Big/Small etc. Shifting your focus to the opposite of your problem (the solution) you are directing your mind to a more positive outcome.

They find things to be Grateful for

When things are ‘falling apart’ it is the can be a real challenge to focus on being grateful. You may not feel like feeling grateful for a long time in fact. However, happy, successful people know that finding things to be grateful for during the toughest times can shift your focus and bring you into a ‘Solution Focused’ mindset much quicker. By truly getting in touch with some of the things that you are grateful for you are taking control over the ‘crisis’ and turning it into a workable situation. You are taking back control because you are now the driving force of your mind.

They Stop ‘Negative Thought Cycles’

Negative thought cycles are those negative thoughts that just keep coming back into your head. You keep thinking “What the heck am I going to do?”, “Why always me?”, “I knew this would happen”. These thought patterns are stopping you from finding a creative solution and you’re making yourself feel even worse. A great strategy employed by the happy, successful elite is the ability to ask solution focused questions:

What is the best way for me to find a solution?

If there was a positive reason for this happening to me what would it be?

What am I willing to do to make things the way I want them to be?

By asking questions like these you are once again, powerfully shifting your focus to solutions.

They accept the Situation

By truly practising the art of acceptance you are detaching yourself from the dramatic, over exaggerations of the situation and you are left with the simple truth. When you stop yourself from reacting on impulse the challenges you are facing become much more simple. Without proper control our natural instinct tends to be to react. These reactions can often make the situation worse. The solution focused course of action is to ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’.

Above all, when you are faced with these very difficult situations the fact of the matter is whatever has happened has happened and when it comes to managing the situation. The choice is yours.

I’d love to hear about how you stay relaxed when it seems like ‘everything’ is going wrong?

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The Top 8 Ways to Avoid the Stress that is Slowly Killing you (#8 Takes 2 Minutes)

ID-100111978You already know that you stress to much and it would be great if reading this blog post could stop that wouldn’t it? You have genuinely started to ‘stress about being too stressed’. You are panicking that you have been damaging yourself over the years aren’t you?

The Silent Killer

It is well known that stress is a silent killer and at best it weakens your immune system and makes you more open to disease and illnesses. The good news is you can avoid the negative effects that stress has on the body by living a balanced, relaxed, healthy, happy lifestyle. To get you on the road to achieving that I’d like to share with you my Top 8 ways to dramatically decrease the stress in your life and rejuvenate your body after years of stress induced deterioration.

We Evolved to Have the ‘Stress Response’ 

We actually developed the ability to experience ‘stress’ as a protection mechanism. This ‘fight or flight’ response that we have built deep in our brains was designed to alert us to a potentially dangerous encounter with a predator. It is the stress response that would inspire you to take evasive action if you came a cross a lion in the wild, giving you a hormonal flood designed to heighten your senses and energy levels.

So how does stress silently kill us?

The unfortunate reality is that the same hormonal response is triggered when we come across stress in our ‘every day’ lives. For example, your finances, your job or your family. The danger occurs when our bodies adapt to operating in this state of high stress causing severe damage to our heart and cardiovascular system.

The consistent stress increase the rate of ageing within your body, especially your circulatory system when your blood pressure sky rockets damaging the walls of your arteries. Consequently, you increasing your likelihood of experiencing a heart attack, a stroke, reduced brain functionality and a weakened immune system.

A staggering 70% of people who visit their GP are doing so because of a stress related illness.

I presume that all of the above makes you passionate about reducing the amount of stress you experience? Take on all of the 8 techniques below and severe, life threatening stress levels will be a thing of the past.

1. Laugh as Much as Possible

Sounds simple and clichéd but laughter really is a natural form of therapy. The power that laughter has on how happy and relaxed we feel is massive. Laughter eases our psychological and emotional load, causes physiological changes that release endorphins and generally makes us feel more positive. Spend time with people who make you laugh, do funny things or watch your favourite comedy. Whatever it is for you make sure you make a conscious effort to seek out laughter every day.

2. Consciously Take Control of your Breathing

Stress causes tension and pressure. These in turn, cause shallow breathing leaving you low on Oxygen. Deep breathing exercises and in particular breathing exercises associated with Yoga are proven methods for releasing stress and enhancing physical and psychological relaxation.  Deep breathing will allow you to get in touch with yourself and detach from the stresses and strains of daily life.

3. Make Time to ‘Play’

Research has suggested that people who spend their spare time playing with their children or pets drastically reduce their stress levels. This is likely to be due to the release of hormones that reduce the stress response.

4. Exercise Daily

Similar to ‘play time’, exercise releases endorphins that make you feel happy and reduce anxiety. Not only that, being disciplined with an exercise regime will allow you to feel proud and grateful. Two emotions that can’t exist in the presence of stress.

5. Make Lifestyle Changes

This could well be the most important part of the stress avoidance process. The main reason that stress is on the increase in modern society is because of our broad, busy, competitive, overly cluttered lifestyles. Realise the the things that are causing you stress in your life and get rid of them. Do you try and do too many things at once? Do you leave things to the last minute? Do you try and accomplish too many goals at one time? Stop doing these things right now and focus on getting things done and moving through life in a controlled and relaxed manner.

6. Aim for at Least One Good Deed Every Day

Doing nice things for other people and being a caring person releases a hormone known as ‘the cuddle hormone’, Oxytocin. Doing at least one good deed every day will stimulate the production of this hormone that is believed to relax your blood vessels and rejuvenate a stress damaged heart.

7. Control What You Put In Your Body

If you really want to avoid the high stress levels that could eventually kill you it is vital that you take control of your sugary food, fatty food and caffeine intake. Caffeine creates a surge of adrenaline, increasing your heart rate and potentially increasing the production of Cortisol (aka the stress hormone). Similarly, sugary and fatty foods can cause high blood pressure and also stimulate the release of the stress hormones.

8. Visualize a Relaxing Experience

Give yourself the 2 minute gift of closing your eyes and thinking your dream holiday destination or your favourite place. Really see the whole picture in great detail and really feel how great it feels to be there. This will allow you to totally remove yourself from whatever stress that may be present at the time.

 

There are many other ways to relieve stress, become more relaxed and rejuvenate your body. This is just a great list of things that can get you started. The important thing from this moment on is that you actually do something to release the stress from your life.

Make a decision to make your health, relaxation and happiness a priority and give your body the chance to rejuvenate itself.

I’d love to hear about some of the ways that you relieve stress and stay relaxed in the comments below…

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7 Easy Ways to Stop Complaining

stop_complainingI still catch myself complaining sometimes even if I don’t realize straight away. I do complain a lot less than I used to though. Complaining rarely adds to the quality of your life; of course you may form a connection with someone with the same complaints but in the end these relationships don’t last. There are people that you come across (I’m sure that you can think of at least one) that are constantly moaning about their family, their health, their body, their job or all of the above! When you spend an extended period of time with these people you end up feeling drained of your life’s spirit don’t you? There doesn’t seem to be anything that can stop these people from complaining.

What if the issue is with YOU? What if you are stuck in this ‘complaining cycle’? We have all experienced that feeling where things seem to just be going wrong left right and centre and complaining seems like the only thing left. It takes less effort to complain than it does to tackle the issue head on and find a solution.

Below are 7 Easy ways to stop complaining and maintain a ‘Solution Focus’.

1. Take Responsibility

If there is something that is negatively impacting your life that you have the ability to change, accept the fact that either you can fix it right now or nothing can be done at this moment in time and you’ll fix it when the opportunity arises. You intellectually know that complaining won’t solve anything so put it into practice. Focus your mind on the things that you CAN do and action steps that you can take.

2. Look After Yourself

In modern society it is common for the stresses and strains of busy life to destroy our positivity. Be sure to schedule time just for you. Read that book you’ve been itching to read, play a round of golf, get a massage or do whatever makes you feel relaxed and re-energizes you.

3. Be the Positive Voice

Whenever you are with friends, family or co-workers and they get into a cycle of complaining, notice something positive about their life and/or the situation. This is a great way to change the focus and energy of the conversation. You could also simply say something funny to diffuse the complaining. Although useful, this technique may not always be appropriate and if that’s the case just keep quiet, control your thoughts and avoid complaining yourself.

4. Write a Gratitude List

You will have seen me mention this strategy in other posts. That is because it really is a great way to diffuse any negative feelings that you may have. Stop for a minute and write down all of things that you are grateful for. Everything from your health, to a roof over your head, to your family…everything that comes to mind. This will allow any petty complaints you had to fizzle away.

5. Meditate

When I first came across the idea of meditation I presumed that it wasn’t for me and that it was a practice reserved for the Buddhist monks of this world. However, I’ve found that even the simplest meditation can help. We often allow our minds to zoom off in a hundred different directions. Meditation will allow you to train yourself to calm these impulsive negative thoughts and be more positive and considered in your approach to life.

6. Re-Train Your Brain

Re-training your brain may be a challenge at first and it will have positive results 100% of the time when you stick with it. For whatever reason, without proper management our minds tend to go the negative. It is time for you to become aware of these thoughts and when you notice yourself thinking a negative thought about something, force yourself to stop (you can even say STOP!) and you can say a positive replacement. For Example, “I always get stuck in this stupid traffic!” “STOP!” “I’m so grateful to have a car”. I know that this takes time and persist with it and you will be amazed by the results.

7. Get it Out!

If you are going through an especially difficult time it is useful to vent sometimes. Be brave and share your feelings with a close friend, family member or therapist. Getting it out will then allow you to fully commit the some or all of the steps outlined above.

 

If you’ve been getting sick of it and wondering how to stop complaining following just a couple of these steps will get you on the road.

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How to Feel Better or Change a Negative Behaviour by Interrupting the Pattern

ID-100110736The true quality of our lives is defined by how we feel on a moment-to-moment basis right? Over the last 3 years I have wanted to investigate this concept a little deeper to see how I can stop feeling bad or change a negative feeling or behaviour in an instant. As a result, I kept coming across a technique called ‘The Pattern Interrupt’. This particular technique was popularized by the founder of NLP (or Neuro Linguistic Programming), Richard Bandler and I discovered its many applications in Bandler’s book; Get the Life you Want. I use this technique in my life on a regular basis due to the rapid success rate that it has. Think of a habit, behaviour or feeling that you would like to change. It can be anything from, feeling stressed, feeling anxious, comfort eating to lazing on the couch. I have realised that the key thing to realize is that the feeling or behaviour is simply an automatic pattern. It’s not you any more, you have been conditioned to the point where these things are just ‘happening’. The exciting thing about this realisation is how easy it then is to make rapid, positive changes. Depending on your learning style, you can watch the video of me going through the process or read the description of the process below. I recommend that which ever way around you do it that you read the description and watch the video to fully grasp the concept.

How to Change a Bad Feeling or Negative Behaviour using a Pattern Interrupt

1) Experience the Feeling or Behaviour at its Fullest Whatever you are looking to change, you must experience it as fully as possible first. Tony Robbins calls this ‘getting the pattern running’. As an example, I wanted to overcome the feeling of anxiety when it came to building my business so I purposely made myself feel anxious about my business. The fuller you can experience the feeling, the faster and more successful the change will be. Using anxiety as an example, you would ask yourself; “How can I get anxious right now?”, “How would I be holding my body?”, then change your body and head position to reflect the anxious state of mind. Think of the things that make you feel anxious and say what you’d say to yourself. When you are experiencing the anxiety to the fullest you can go to the next step.

2) Interrupt the Pattern Now that you are experiencing the emotion or behaviour to the fullest you must do something totally unique and somewhat outrageous to interrupt the pattern. Your feelings will be jolted so much that you will move into a more positive state. Think of  the simple Mathematics pattern: 2,4,6,8,10,12,14 – if I interrupt that pattern and make it 2,4,5,29,10,12,14 it simply isn’t a pattern any more. Human feelings are the same. I know what the next question you have, is: What Pattern Interrupt should I use? When you are experiencing the pattern of feelings at their fullest, change your body language drastically and shout or do something silly and crazy. You could jump up and shout “WOOOHHHOOO I LOVE GRASS!!!”. I know that sounds insane but that’s great, the more outrageous the better! It is the body change and craziness that interrupts the pattern. Sometimes with clients I tell them to jump up in a really loud voice, then tell to laugh as hard as they possibly can. Can you see how this really does interrupt the pattern?

3) Replace the Old, Negative Pattern with a Positive New One  Now that the pattern has been well and truly interrupted, you need to replace it with a positive pattern that you actually want to experience. For me, I wanted to feel happy and confident about building my business, replacing the old anxiety. The easy way to create this happy and confident feeling is to stand up, throw your shoulders back, throw your chest up and put a huge smile on your face. You know what positive alternatives will work for you, so do that. When you have done this enough times and it becomes totally automatic you will be reconditioned to feel the feelings and behave in a way that you want. I understand that you are probably sceptical, I was as well. The fact of the matter is, this stuff really works and you should use this tool to interrupt every negative pattern in your life.

Start Today and Keep Going

This process is a skill and in my opinion, like any other skill you can’t just do it once and expect to improve forever. Start right now with something that you’d like to change, then go through it 10 times per day for 2 weeks. You will notice yourself getting better and the old patterns being replaced. Most of all, Enjoy it!

I have a burning desire to provide life changing information to as many people as possible if you have enjoyed of this article it would amazing if you could share this article with your friends by using one of the buttons below. You may be giving someone exactly what they’re looking for!

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5 Ways you are Sabotaging your Own Happiness

ID-10051360Happiness doesn’t just come to people by chance, it may seem that some people have ‘the gift’ but they are proactively moving through life in such a way that is making them happy. What you will find is there are also things that they are NOT doing that is greatly enhancing their chances of happiness.

Below are 5 Things that could be ruining your chances of being Happy.

1. Focusing on What you Want and Missing Out on What you Already Have

If getting everything that we ‘wanted’ made us happy then all millionaires and billionaires would be happy, right?

You are putting yourself in a position where you are training your brain to place happiness as something in the future. You are always saying to yourself: “I’ll be happy when…”If you think like this, your happiness will always be in the future!

To be happy you need to start with what you already have. What can appreciate right now? Your health? Your friends? Your ability to see? Whatever it is for you, bring it to the front of your mind and realise how happy you are about it.

2. Constantly Criticizing Yourself

We are all excellent at being our own worst critic. Are you allowing yourself to self-criticize to the point where it is becoming ridiculous? You know the thought process: “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now. I won’t be able to pay the mortgage. Now everyone is going to hate me.” This may be a slight exaggeration but you get my point. How is it possible to be happy if we have thoughts like this bouncing around our heads all the time? The fastest way to fix this faulty thinking is to transform the inner criticism into inner ‘coaching’ as soon as it happens. For example, if you hear yourself say something like “I can’t believe I didn’t make that sale. I’m going to get sacked now”, quickly transform it into some self-coaching like, “What have I learned from that call that will enable me to do better next time and become good enough to get a promotion?” This may take a little practice, of course, but when you find yourself doing it automatically, you will be happy a lot for often.

3. Placing too Much Value on What Others Think

Are you deciding what shoes to buy based on what other people are going to think? Do you ever keep quiet when you have a new idea so you don’t upset the status quo? For true happiness to be present in your life you have to be your authentic self all of the time. If that means you love bright green shoes, by all means grow your collection of bright green shoes! It’s who you are.

When you get to a point where you have stopped other people dictating who you are and what you do, you will reach a level of happiness that you never even imagined was possible.

4. Spending Time with ‘Energy Drainers’

It may sound like a cliché but you really are becoming who you are spending most of your time with. The way we think and act will eventually harmonize with those that are closest to us. This is wonderful if you are surrounded by happy, positive, ambitious people all day long but if you aren’t, you are robbing yourself of your true happiness.

5. Focusing on your Goals so much that you Forget the Present Moment

I love setting goals and I believe that they are integral part of success and happiness. However, if you are too busy focusing on the final destination; the chances are you are missing out on the splendour of the journey. All of the little triumphs and successes are easily missed if we don’t celebrate them. It is essential that you regularly remind yourself to enjoy the present moment. An amazing way of doing this is to STOP and realize how grateful you are to be making progress today and how much fun you are having right now and why.

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How to be More Positive

ID-10047087I have found life a lot more simple with a positive attitude. The challenges of life are going to come your way no matter what happens and I have discovered that these challenges become a LOT easier to deal with if you are more positive. Ever since I became interested in personal development I have been shocked by how negative most people are and how as a society we are almost ‘addicted’ to negativity. Moving away from this negative way of life will be a massive step in the direction of achieving your life’s goals before you even do anything.  Below you’ll find 7 Steps that will be valuable to you if you are trying to discover how to be more positive.

[Video Blog] – Text Blog Below.

1. Don’t React, ‘Choose’ to Respond.

There is no need whatsoever to bounce through life constantly reacting to the things that happen to you. You can choose exactly how to respond. Become aware of that small period of time where you have a choice. For example, you get up in the morning and you stub your toe. You can ‘react’ negatively: “oh no, I’m such an idiot…ow, ow, ow. Today is going to be such a bad day!” (sounds familiar right?). However, you can choose your response: “how funny, it makes me slightly peeved when I do that but if I’m honest it didn’t hurt that much….time for breakfast. Wonderful!” This may take a little practice and I promise it will change your life.

2. Be Thankful as Often as Possible

I have written about this topic many times recently and it really is a very simple way to be more positive. You have so many things to be grateful for as long as you are honest with yourself. Focusing on all of the things that you are grateful for is an amazing way to feel even better if you are in a good mood and a rapid way to go from angry to positive.

3. Move Positively!

This particular information changed my life and it has changed the lives of anyone that has been touched by it. If you aren’t feeling positive or confident, start to act like it and the feelings will follow suit. Force that smile on your face, puff your chest up and throw your shoulders back and be amazed by what happens. Even if it feels silly and you start laughing at yourself…it’s worked because you’re laughing.

4. Avoid Comparisons with other People

Comparing yourself to others can often be a fast track to feeling negative. Each time you notice that there is something different about you you will begin to focus on it and it will bring you down. Spend your time focusing on how you are always looking to become an even better version of yourself and you will be more positive.

5. Stay Present

I once heard an amazing expression from the Director of a company that I used to work for, he said “If you live with one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you are running the risk of urinating on the present!” Whilst this may not be a very pleasant analogy it gets the message across doesn’t it? If you are letting your thoughts move into the past or the future too often you will let your head drop and become negative. Bring yourself into the present moment and appreciate :).

6. Focus on What you Want

We have all seen the infant proudly carrying their beaker filled with drink, a big smile on their face, having no problems with it whatsoever. Then the parent says “Don’t spill it!” and wham, the drink goes everywhere. The parent and consequently, the child have started to focus on what they don’t want. Can you guess what happens if you think “I don’t want to be negative, I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to be broke”? Focusing on what you want will get you more of what you want and as a beautiful by-product you will be more positive.

7. Fail Forward

Failure is once again something that produces a positive or negative response based on the choices that you make. Failure can only produce a negative reaction if you choose to see it as final. However, you can let it produce a positive, excited response in a similar way to the great Thomas Edison by realising that each temporary defeat is taking you closer to the ultimate goal. View each ‘failure’ as positive fuel to thrust you towards success and a negative reaction will not be possible. I genuinely wish you the positive daily life that you can create for yourself. Follow the steps above that work for you and mix it with your own ideas that will make a real difference. You can click the picture below to read about my e-book ‘How to be More Positive’ 

 

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How to Overcome Fear And Improve Your Life Quickly

Watch the Video Blog Below on How to Overcome Fear and read the Blog Post Below

ID-100262240As time progresses I am getting more and more passionate about sharing videos and blog posts that contain ideas that have changed my life. One thing that I have had to do consistently is overcome fears. The exciting thing that I have discovered is that you can actually use fear to your advantage as opposed to being paralysed by it. The strategies that I am going to describe have been invaluable to me and some of my clients that have been suffering from the symptoms of fear.

You may be in a situation where you are doing anything and everything instead of doing the thing that you are scared to do. These tools on how to overcome fear will change your life in the same way that they have changed mine. They are the tools that I have learned and developed that allow me to work hard and smart on my goals every single day. They help me to take action on the things that improve my life, they help me to eat well, train hard and build my business.

Each and every time you find yourself not doing what you know you SHOULD be doing it’s because you’re not being totally honest with yourself as to how important the task actually is. You are subconsciously avoiding the things that scare you a little bit even though they’ll take you to where you want to go. That ‘Little Voice’ in your head starts saying things like “Ah it’s okay, you can do it later” or “It won’t make that much of a difference” or “I just don’t want to do it right now” or whatever ever other nonsense the little voice in your head is telling you.

ID-100174428You have to have the presence of mind to consciously say to that voice “STOP!..that is absolute rubbish! Ultimately, what price will I have to pay if I don’t do this right now? What major impact could it have on my life if I don’t do it?”

It is getting head on with the gravity of the situation that will get you back on track and making progress in spite of fear.

I often simplify human behaviour as a drive to gain good feelings or a drive to avoid bad feelings.

If you are not getting on with something, it is because you think that you’ll feel bad in some way if you do it. You have managed to associate bad feelings in some way to the task. This was useful when humans wanted to avoid the bad feelings of being in the presence of a Lion in the wild, however, it is often not as useful now. If you really sat down and thought about how much worse the bad feelings of being obese, with no energy and a likely early grave are than the good feelings of eating that extra cake are you’ll see the power of this idea. We often find ourselves focusing on the immediate good feelings that we will have without considering the long term bad feelings.

There are many Questions you can ask yourself to change your focus to the overall impact on the quality of your life. Here are some that I use to realise the bad feelings that are coming my way if I keep living in this fearful, negative way:

“What will be the overall effect on my life if I keep doing this?”

“What price will I pay in my health, relationships and finances?”

“What will I deny myself in my life if I keep living like this?”

“What has living like this already cost me?”

Here are the questions that I ask myself to induce the good feelings that I will experience if I do the things that will make my life better, even though I may be fearful:

“How will my life improve by doing this?”

“How does doing it move me closer to achieving my BIG goals?”

“How will doing this improve my health, finances and my relationships?”

“Why will I be grateful in 20 years time for doing it?”

ID-10022465I have found that fear can be a sneaky temptress and you can be subconsciously fearful of all sorts of bad feelings that you didn’t even no existed. For example, at the back of your mind, you may believe that if you become a millionaire all of your friends will be jealous and no one will like you. This fear will lead you to link bad feelings to being a millionaire and therefore make you procrastinate and not work on creating financial freedom for you and your family.

The secret is to ask these questions with every choice that you face; fries or salad? Write a business plan or Browse Facebook? Gym or TV? Do you see how often we are faced by these choices?

If you still find yourself not making progress on your goals because of pesky little subconscious fears it is because you haven’t been totally honest with yourself yet.

You cannot get to the point where you know how to overcome fear by just thinking about the good feelings and the bad feelings on an intellectual level. You have to truly FEEL them at your emotional centre. Experience the intense good feelings of being a happy, healthy, success at your very core and experience the overwhelming bad feelings of being an overweight failure and you really are on the road to lasting change.

The fact of the matter is you KNOW that you should be more afraid of what your destructive habits are doing to you but do you actually feel it?

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Appreciate Everything

jermaine-harrisEven though it was raining this morning, I still chose to take my Dog, Prince, for a walk around the Park that is just down the road from my house in Cardiff. I realised that I was one of only a handful of people in the park and I found myself observing the beautiful spring trees, the blossoms and the rest of the park’s scenery. I felt totally relaxed and centred. 

It was an incredibly refreshing experience because I have been especially busy lately and it was amazing to be able to stand there and think freely.

I started to feel genuinely lucky. If things had transpired slightly differently in my life I may not have been able to walk or even be alive today. I felt lucky to be able to be able to experience the sights, smells and sounds of the park and this was compounded by my gratitude for being able to actually walk around it. I felt an immense gratitude for the fact that I am spending my days doing what I absolutely love to do, which is give my all, writing, speaking and coaching on topics that allow people to improve their lives. As is always the way; these positive thoughts seemed to attract more positive thoughts. I started thinking about my beautiful family and my lifelong friends.

I progressed to think about how fortunate that I am to have had so many different experiences before the age of 26. Everything that I have been through so far; both the positive and the negative experiences have made me who I am today. I have suffered from a massive amount of rejection, pain and failure. I have made many mistakes and awful decisions. However, every one of these of things have allowed me to develop into the person that I am right now.

I feel gratitude for all of the experiences. The negative ones actually provided me with the motivation that I needed at the time to push forward in life. All of the amazingly positive experiences have added depth, celebration and a true sense of worth that I will always remember. Whatever has happened in my life, I have decided to use them to fuel my human potential and create a new destiny for myself.

If I hadn’t been on the ‘Jermaine Harris Roller Coaster’, who knows what I’d be doing? The chances are I would have just ended up with an average existence, with less friends and definitely much less motivation.

I went on to think about how grateful that I am for the proactive decisions that I have made over the last 3 years. The decisions that have led me to be obsessed with improving my life and passionate about improving the lives of others. I felt grateful for taking the scary decision to quit a well paid job that I was good at to start my own coaching business and ultimately become an author.

appreciate-everythingI thought about how grateful that I am to have conquered my asthma and transform my health when doctors had said that it was ‘impossible’.

These positive thoughts were simply magnetic. It was at this point that I decided that I was going to share this information with you. I wanted to help you to be aware of the fact that it is…

...Gratitude and Appreciation that allow us to experience true fulfilment.

I know that this may sound like an old cliché but the fact of the matter is, most members of society are not taking the time think about being grateful. They are so busy paying attention to the next payslip or ‘becoming successful’ that the things that they can be truly grateful for are totally eluding them. Of course a massive part of what I do is focused on success but I have become increasingly aware of the fact that ‘achievement’ isn’t going to make you happy.

What will make you happy is the person that you develop into.

I want you to imagine yourself as an empty cup and take on the belief that the skill involved with continuous happiness is filling that cup every single day with the gratitude and appreciation for the things that you actually have.

When was the last time that you actually did this? I mean genuinely took the time to focus on the things that feel fortunate to have or experience in your life.

It will be an amazing gift that you will give yourself because you will be attracting the love, validation and respect that you want from other people and you’ll be creating it in your own mind. As you do this more regularly and your ‘cup’ is filled with gratitude every day you will develop an emotional strength without having to depend on other people.

The whole process becomes life changing and exciting when you realise how comfortable that you are in your own skin, how much you feel compelled to contribute to the lives of others and how ’emotionally fulfilled’ you feel every day.

Realise that the only reason you want to be successful is because it will give you ‘Good Feelings’. Why not experience them in advance?

To achieve this spend 10 Minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening, thinking about or even better, writing down, all of the things that you are grateful for.

I’d love for you to comment below, stating the things that you are grateful for. Thank you 🙂

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