I still catch myself complaining sometimes even if I don’t realize straight away. I do complain a lot less than I used to though. Complaining rarely adds to the quality of your life; of course you may form a connection with someone with the same complaints but in the end these relationships don’t last. There are people that you come across (I’m sure that you can think of at least one) that are constantly moaning about their family, their health, their body, their job or all of the above! When you spend an extended period of time with these people you end up feeling drained of your life’s spirit don’t you? There doesn’t seem to be anything that can stop these people from complaining.
What if the issue is with YOU? What if you are stuck in this ‘complaining cycle’? We have all experienced that feeling where things seem to just be going wrong left right and centre and complaining seems like the only thing left. It takes less effort to complain than it does to tackle the issue head on and find a solution.
Below are 7 Easy ways to stop complaining and maintain a ‘Solution Focus’.
1. Take Responsibility
If there is something that is negatively impacting your life that you have the ability to change, accept the fact that either you can fix it right now or nothing can be done at this moment in time and you’ll fix it when the opportunity arises. You intellectually know that complaining won’t solve anything so put it into practice. Focus your mind on the things that you CAN do and action steps that you can take.
2. Look After Yourself
In modern society it is common for the stresses and strains of busy life to destroy our positivity. Be sure to schedule time just for you. Read that book you’ve been itching to read, play a round of golf, get a massage or do whatever makes you feel relaxed and re-energizes you.
3. Be the Positive Voice
Whenever you are with friends, family or co-workers and they get into a cycle of complaining, notice something positive about their life and/or the situation. This is a great way to change the focus and energy of the conversation. You could also simply say something funny to diffuse the complaining. Although useful, this technique may not always be appropriate and if that’s the case just keep quiet, control your thoughts and avoid complaining yourself.
4. Write a Gratitude List
You will have seen me mention this strategy in other posts. That is because it really is a great way to diffuse any negative feelings that you may have. Stop for a minute and write down all of things that you are grateful for. Everything from your health, to a roof over your head, to your family…everything that comes to mind. This will allow any petty complaints you had to fizzle away.
When I first came across the idea of meditation I presumed that it wasn’t for me and that it was a practice reserved for the Buddhist monks of this world. However, I’ve found that even the simplest meditation can help. We often allow our minds to zoom off in a hundred different directions. Meditation will allow you to train yourself to calm these impulsive negative thoughts and be more positive and considered in your approach to life.
6. Re-Train Your Brain
Re-training your brain may be a challenge at first and it will have positive results 100% of the time when you stick with it. For whatever reason, without proper management our minds tend to go the negative. It is time for you to become aware of these thoughts and when you notice yourself thinking a negative thought about something, force yourself to stop (you can even say STOP!) and you can say a positive replacement. For Example, “I always get stuck in this stupid traffic!” “STOP!” “I’m so grateful to have a car”. I know that this takes time and persist with it and you will be amazed by the results.
7. Get it Out!
If you are going through an especially difficult time it is useful to vent sometimes. Be brave and share your feelings with a close friend, family member or therapist. Getting it out will then allow you to fully commit the some or all of the steps outlined above.
If you’ve been getting sick of it and wondering how to stop complaining following just a couple of these steps will get you on the road.