My Favourite Book of all time is called Awaken the Giant Within. I remember when I first read it, when I was laid up with a broken leg, going through a challenging time thinking “what the hell am I going to do with my life?” . Without this book and specifically the chapter on Emotional Mastery, I don’t think that I would be doing what I am doing now and I certainly wouldn’t have become an author myself.
If you haven’t read Awaken the Giant Within yet; it is the book that I recommend to everybody!
As I have been improving myself and my life there have been, and continue to be emotional times in my life. It is the things that I learned from Anthony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within that has allows me to stay in control of my emotions.
I’d like to share with you Tony’s 6 Steps to Emotional Mastery in the hope that they help you in the same way that they have helped me.
A ‘light bulb moment’ for me was realising that as complex as humans are, we only ever do anything to change the way that we feel.
If you’re trying to lose body fat, build muscle, improve your finances or save for a new car – the only reason is because of the particular emotion that you think will arrive when you do it. To elaborate, you may believe by upgrading your car or losing body fat you will feel more confident. Or by making more money you can ‘finally be happy’.
Most people (including me until I realised) wait and put milestones on their emotions and always keep that particular emotion in the future. The truth is you can feel whatever emotion you want to feel at any time!
The 6 Steps to Emotional Mastery
Below you will find the 6 Steps to Emotional Mastery outlined in Awaken the Giant the Within:
1)Get clear on what you’re feeling
As you notice that you are feeling some sort of negative emotion, ask yourself, “What am I REALLY feeling right now?”
Be totally clear about it. I ask myself “Am I really feeling Sad or is it another feeling?”
2)Recognise and be grateful for your emotions because they support you
As your emotions are there to help you, you should feel genuinely grateful that they are sending you a message at this time.
3)Develop a Curiosity about the Message this Emotion is Sending You.
You are on the road to mastering your emotions when you become curious about them. Even though the emotion appears negative, you can ask yourself some powerful questions like: “Is this How I want to Feel? What Can I learn from this? What else could this emotion mean? What am I willing to do so I can feel how I want to feel?
4)Restore Your Confidence
An easy, powerful and rapid way to deal with any negative emotion is to go back to a time when you successfully handled this emotion and moved on in the past.
The chances are this emotion isn’t new. You’ve dealt with it once; you can deal with it again.
If possible, say to yourself out loud: “What did I do so well last time, to deal with this emotion?”
Whatever you did well last time, do it again and you’ll get positive results again.
5)Be Certain that you can handle this emotion RIGHT NOW and in the Future.
Repeat the focus that you had in the previous step where you remembered a time that you dealt with this emotion in the past. Then you can move on to ask yourself, “How am I going to do Even better this time?”
You can then ask yourself, “How will make sure I deal with emotion effectively in the future?”
Originally, your brain may say something negative but push yourself through that barrier, keep asking and you will get positive answers.
6)Build Your Excitement and Take Action
The last part of this process is to build a level of excitement based on the fact that you can take control of this emotion easily and quickly take some action to prove that it has been dealt with.
The Hands Down, best way to deal with an emotion is as soon as you start to feel it! It is essential that you ‘kill the weed whilst it’s in the ground’ and don’t let it sprout and grow into a monster.
Just like most of the concepts that I have learned and the ideas that I teach; knowing how to master your emotions will take practice and repetition. However, the more that you follow the steps, they eventually become embedded in your subconscious mind and you will be better you will be at taking control of your emotions.
The main reason that I wanted to share this information with you was because these steps have really helped me in recent times when the health of my Grandmother (who I am very close to) deteriorated after she had a large heart attack. I had the steps written down on a piece of paper to help me deal with the situation systematically and positively. I now hope that you can do the same.
I hope that you can use the steps as a blueprint when it comes to how to master your emotions and that you practice and repeat it to the point where you gain true ‘Emotional Mastery’.
If you’d like to read more comprehensively about how to master your emotions I would to, once again highly recommend Awaken the Giant Within. One thing I will say is make sure that you are really committed to making some detailed, amazing changes in your life. Less than 1% of people actually finish the book and when they do their stories are phenomenal. Be part of that 1% and change your life forever.