I am a big fan of the phrase “sometimes life just happens”. What I mean by this, sometimes life will throw an unexpected challenge your way. However, sometimes life will just, flat out open a trap door from under you. You know, those times when you don’t know where to turn and you don’t know what to do.
You start to panic and you start to either ‘freeze’ or start to act like a crazy person.
There are some who people who respond to ‘life’s trap door’ with a huge measure of relaxed control.
How the heck do they do it?!
Below are 5 Things that they do to positively overcome an onslaught of adversity.
They See the Situation as it is…NOT worse than it is!
When a negative situation shows itself in our life, our mind absolutely loves exaggerating the extent of it. In a instant our mind can turn forgetting to pay a bill into becoming totally bankrupt. A happy, relaxed, successful person will tell you to focus on the reality of the situation and don’t add bits on.
They Focus on the Fact that Every Problem has a Solution
Once you have this realization you are cultivating the ability to deal with whatever comes your way. We live in a universe where things exist in opposites. Hot/Cold, Up/Down, Big/Small etc. Shifting your focus to the opposite of your problem (the solution) you are directing your mind to a more positive outcome.
They find things to be Grateful for
When things are ‘falling apart’ it is the can be a real challenge to focus on being grateful. You may not feel like feeling grateful for a long time in fact. However, happy, successful people know that finding things to be grateful for during the toughest times can shift your focus and bring you into a ‘Solution Focused’ mindset much quicker. By truly getting in touch with some of the things that you are grateful for you are taking control over the ‘crisis’ and turning it into a workable situation. You are taking back control because you are now the driving force of your mind.
They Stop ‘Negative Thought Cycles’
Negative thought cycles are those negative thoughts that just keep coming back into your head. You keep thinking “What the heck am I going to do?”, “Why always me?”, “I knew this would happen”. These thought patterns are stopping you from finding a creative solution and you’re making yourself feel even worse. A great strategy employed by the happy, successful elite is the ability to ask solution focused questions:
What is the best way for me to find a solution?
If there was a positive reason for this happening to me what would it be?
What am I willing to do to make things the way I want them to be?
By asking questions like these you are once again, powerfully shifting your focus to solutions.
They accept the Situation
By truly practising the art of acceptance you are detaching yourself from the dramatic, over exaggerations of the situation and you are left with the simple truth. When you stop yourself from reacting on impulse the challenges you are facing become much more simple. Without proper control our natural instinct tends to be to react. These reactions can often make the situation worse. The solution focused course of action is to ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’.
Above all, when you are faced with these very difficult situations the fact of the matter is whatever has happened has happened and when it comes to managing the situation. The choice is yours.
I’d love to hear about how you stay relaxed when it seems like ‘everything’ is going wrong?