It is completely normal to experience a loss of confidence during your life. You may have been through a series of difficult challenges that is making you feel worse about yourself than you normally do. Due to the nature of the way we operate as human beings, there are lots of things that could be making you feel this way. Perhaps you have lost someone close to you, or you had an unexpected career change or you lost some money. The fact of the matter is that many of these things happen to a lot of people and it is your response to what happens that will determine the quality of your life. When you have been knocked down and your self-esteem has hit an all time low, it is the pace and strength with which you get back up that will make the difference.
I am a great believer in the words of motivational speaker Les Brown when he says in relation to ‘bad times’: “it has not come to stay, it has come to pass!” This is very true, you will not be feeling like this forever and there are ways that you can boost your self-esteem; you an see 3 of the most effective ways of doing this, below.
A rapid way to transform your thinking is to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have. Research suggests that the quickest way to do this is to consider the people you have in your life. Really allow yourself to focus your mind on these people. They could be parents, children, extended family members, friends, colleagues or teachers. Anybody that you know loves you and you love them. Seek out these people during your down moments, spend time with them, speak with them, do fun things with them. As you do this you’ll notice that you’re feeling better already. Become aware of how lucky you are to have this support, even if it is just one person. It is this human to human support that has allowed people to overcome incredible challenges. Embrace the support and let your self-esteem grow as you do.
You already know how to get through tough times and regain your confidence and self-esteem, because you have done it before! Just because you are feeling down right now doesn’t mean that these successful moments disappear from history. To rapidly rebuild your self-esteem, grab a pen and paper and write down every success that you have ever enjoyed. If you are feeling especially down, your judgement is clouded and you feel that you ‘can’t think of anything’; ask someone you are close to, to help you out. Allow everything to come out: exams you have passed, driving test success, sporting achievements, travelling to places you wanted to go. Get as many things down as you can, then review that list and think something like this to yourself: “hey, I really have had a lot of success in my life and I’m going to bounce back from this current situation and there are more successes to come”.
Ask a terrible question and you’ll get a terrible answer. For example if you sit and ask yourself questions like “Why do bad things always happen to me?”, your brain has to come up with an answer and a whole host of negative information will be fired into your conscious mind. However, what if you were to ask questions like “What is the best way for me to use this situation to make me happier and more successful?” – you’d get totally different answers, right? Use this particular functionality of your brain to your advantage. Come up with a list of powerful, positive questions that provoke answers that will make you feel great and inspire you to take action. Do this as soon as you start to feel down because it it will transform your thinking and rebuild your self-esteem very quickly.
Please feel free to leave comments below about ways you have rebuilt your self-esteem 🙂